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Doors Closing

While Andrè closed behind them the door of the room, a lot of confused ideas crowding my head, multiple autoresponders questions invaded my head, that shit do now, which meant all that, why he kissed me?, Really should stay only with the words of Andrea, or should try to read between the lines as naturally do, and half drunk, half-blown, even tasting the lips of Andrè, I was alone in the room when a voice from the darkness of the window facing the street said, "It seems that this was the birthday present you wanted, do you like?, was my partner, the entire timepo since he had started my friendship with Andrè had been somewhat suspicious of our "close" friendship, "Stay there, we need to talk," Now if that shit, he thought he had no Calre he had seen, and he had heard, but of course not going to lie, tell only the truth .
Ariel entered the room sat on the bed, and with a gesture invited me to accompany him, and previously told how well we carry, and how relaxed and civilized of our relationship, so k this would be a conversation between friends, without scandal , I sat next to him, and took my hand, and began to speak, "weon, I am very angry with you, I have a lot of anger, and sorrow, I had long ago realized that something happened between you, I and who have not had sex or anything, but I also know, as you know, you look like you're hooked Andrè, and the thing is simple, you have to choose, I can not be with someone who has divided heart, I know you love me, and I love you more than the crest, but have postponed their own projects to be together, and if things are going to be so, I'd rather try my luck and see the progress that happens, if our lives cross again, I happy if we stayed together, I was happy too, if we split to grow and catch where we go, I'll be a very sad time, but I Saer that ground floor, is my right, and I demand an answer Now "- Before such requirement would Favorite the best of the scandals, every word of Ariel, tore my heart, because I knew that the more that I was going wrong, I felt very confused, it is true that he was guilty of wanting to Andrè, but it is also true that I was just a game, an erotic fantasy that came with my masturbatory dreams, and was now fulfilled in part, and that dream mutated into a nightmare for my life next to Ariel. Do not know what to say, I knew that Andre was just an affair with no logical end, and my life was stability Ariel love and affection of many years together. I stayed a while is silence and said, "I myself still do not quite understand what happened, took me by surprise, do not understand if is only an act of love of Andre or something else, I must confess you're right, if I feel something strong for him, but I feel something much stronger for you, Andre gives me something sexual, warmth, I can not explain, it's like if we were compatible in this area, even without having done anything, I feel it, but you are the minority of my life (WAAA), seriously, it's still freak me for saying so, but I want to be with you always, I understand you're upset and hurt, but things are what they are, I want to be with you, but I also want you to feel with the freedom to choose your destiny, your future "- we looked a long while, holding hands, something had changed, rested his head on my shoulder, cuddle in my arms, stroking her hair, everyone danced outside. in the room, a dance of two, sealed many years together.
Upon awakening the next day, Ariel, my partner was gone, was gone, my birthday was not only the first kiss with Andrè, but was also the last night I saw Ariel, who accepted an invitation to work in a arts studio in Buenos Aires, away from me, away from Andrè.

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The day before beginning preparations for my birthday, a text message from Andre came, - "as men will, tomorrow I'm in your party, I go with my girl, and I have my gift," that was confirmation would not miss the end of my celebration, although it would not be a space to fulfill my fantasies, at least could see, talk and enjoy their company for a few hours, most of my friends were tracking and Andre, as my new close friend, many did not understand this strong amiztad born from one day to another among the many stories about the secret devised ties that bound us, and looked too strange when they knew, our reels were staying together in my room listening to music, and of course they were right, was at least strange that friendship between a straight evident, and a gay (not so obvious), but well understood, this situation was giving a special seasoning to our friendship, as Andre noticed the comments of others, but e did not seem to mind, did not pay attention, and kept looking so affectionate with me both publicly and privately.
whole day was a coming and going, dawned almost raining, and early cold to the bone, my cunmpleaños was threatened by the cold winter of Santiago, and not only that, forecasters predicted the coldest night of the year, a little nervous with the adjustments follow my party, would be the big party, and would look to Andre. At about 11 pm the guests began arriving home, my friends first became more formal, depending on time appointment time estabana planted with Ron bottles of Havana on the couches in my house, not shared even with some colorful friends, colleagues gay college, get more and more people preferentially the hours passed, and had almost no timepo to be with anyone special, just waved and went, Andre no trace, not call, did not arrive, the
that serious?, - sure its mine gave out, "Straw told me myself. Andre had assumed that any setback and would not reach, so give me the cold of the night in my warm birthday, drinking a mojito and another, and smoking florets rich strains of friends, and the intoxication cannabism night, I felt tap on my shoulder, turn, andre was in front of me, dancing in the dark with the lights of the party, and the sound of placebo, lanzadome from her full lips a Happy Birthday Dude, I love stash wn, a tight hug, squeezing my body against his, making me feel every bump corporea edge and I hit him in a hug of friendship for 1 hour, which lasted only 3 seconds, and the whole ceremony ended with a kiss my cheek, so, so close to the corners of my mouth, a brief kiss, which deliberately gave away all their expansion lipstick, a kiss with invisible dye, which sank as on my face, all that hard to just 25 or 30 seconds but I, like a bionic woman, caught in silence with my eyes HDV each of his gestures JPG; When separating added: "I brought a gift, but I give them when we are alone," it was in when he is interrupted by mine, I almost dropped the hair when I see what regia k was, greeted me warmly and with affection, since we have made good friends among them, (taking care of course, not being friends, pa not be as freaky, or good, but still), his mine was incredible, perfect, awesome leather with tremendous style and personality vassals, the Ego to the underground I was right there. But things were so good, and after all, the only things that were happening in my head, and the thousands of reading and rereading that I could do based on the "unconscious gestures Andre."
both joined the party, I for one follow the ritual of greetings and trying to pass all the bine, danced, drank, and every now and then looking for Andre to look among the people dancing, each Once it was, her eyes were fixed upon me, and when we met, we laughed, and some nervous haciamaos as usual.
After a couple of hours, everyone danced, and I among all tambine he did, dancing "out of control" Andre takes my hand, "come dance with us awhile, so I moved along k Andre and his mine, "want to smoke," he said, "Sure," replied, "I also want," added his mine, since it offered him, Andre pulls out his lighter and an automatic gesture, kind, lights fire just for me, the face of mine fell to the ground, as she was by his side, and I almost 3 feet away, I miss it for me, (I thought my twisted inner pa) and my head rolls generating sicomagicos, deep instantly elaborated theories about what it meant, that was overlooked at its mine to be kind to me first.
wn think I'm a psychopath, and if I am, but I also think that gestures and actions reveal an inner sense Instant rooted in the depths of being.

About 4 am I cold, I went to my dormitorioa get something more than shelter, was alone in the room when they hit the door and entering Andre, "I'm leaving," he says, "tomorrow I will a vineyard, and let k I have mine in my home, I have also manna k fix the bike early, but before I wanted to say something silly, which has been bkn've known, I Like we can talk about whatever, and I feel confident with you as a real friend, I like the relationship we have, I think you've become my best and closest friend, "- little by little we approached, and continued talking - "I know, I want you too much, I can tell by the way I look, and also, you want me in a way which I can not corresponderte, if I liked the terms , be sure that a long time since estraia you, but it is not, I'm happy with my mine, and mine Tadas it may be, if things were different I would be very easy to love you the way you do Quiros ". - I felt that I stood 1000 meters and dropped me at once, could not believe my ears, I mean that my drool when I was next to it never happened rope, and always knew that I liked, and I warmed up and everything, when it was all by continuous talking face to face, André was a little drunk, and very loose dance and reel, - "and if all things are this way, I can not help thinking it would be like to kiss you, I never want to loko kiss, but I want to try, and I want to you" - and just like that without anesthesia, took me by the shoulders, sliding his strong hands on my back, bringing his lips to my mouth, on arrival, microscopic kisses tornado left a meeting of lips and tongues, and I did not even notice when I kissed Andre passionately apreatndome strong, with a mezclde rare affection and warmth, also crossing my arms around him, and more jutnos stayed, felt his pauqte grow with next to mine, and act segudio, gently separated from me and added "it was good, a good experience, happy birthday, I'm leaving now, see you soon, and a handshake with a kiss on the cheek and a hug males, Andre said goodbye, leaving all my humanity in a rhythmic stunned silence.

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as if nothing

Al amnacer the next day, Andrè, was like nothing, like totally everyday the pajearse with a friend, there was no change, only my senses that followed ambriagados to imagine the sweetness of its members, and tension of their muscles, they were still estranged thinking, and dreaming of a kiss would be like him, even in some corner of my desires, my being wanted to believe it was possible to love, But, the reality was aplastante.Habiamos be left whole day together, which saldiramos to eat something, and then maybe take a walk through the forest to get some more weed, after Breakfast and smoke another joint (I love) a call from his girlfriend to break all my romantic matinee, was home alone, so k posrian screwed together and quiet, (I use as justification for changing the plans), I made that I matter, then d ETHODS we just friends "and friends are not jealous", jejej, when leaving a very tight and affections Abarza seal our days together, and with a promise to call soon and see us then, would be leaving home me at the door to capture the last image of your back around the corner, with tight heart, a lump in the throat and a fever that would not let me sleep in days.
Andrè days passed and no sign of life, it was supposed would come to stay back home but never arrived, spent a week and I was dying to be with him, could only calm my cravings writing and smoking. Chapter III

Waiting
Amar drops one of those days escrbi something like this to calm the heart and body tb obvious.

"You're my being full of life, full of complicity and tenderness that she spread her wings wrapped in them, one so unique as to not lose one so all that is the irresistible desire to kiss him, his gestures, their dialogues, their eyes are a constant invitation to the ambiguity of desire, seduce me without noticing it, causing it to expand my senses for any slight sign of erotic-complicity.
Each your gestures shoots a load power my cell, which keeps me in constant motion even though you do not notice, every accidental touch skin to skin, so stop for a microsecond and freeze it in time to cherish it and drink it all, if you knew how your breath near me sleep and takes me to find the breath of your mouth, so feel a bit of your taste,
my friend, you are my accomplice, my secret desire, my cherished desire, and my particular love, projections result of science fiction where you and I love each other, complementing as anyone playing all day to reinvent itself in a playful chasing SSC as tender teens, I have
boiling chest looking forward to see you, and find your eyes and mine with the same glare of two drunk everyday illuminated
not know where to wander with the lyrics, because I crammed the desire, desire, doubt The mystery, conclusions, and fear, everything carries me everywhere, drawing and you will delete, recreándote many times in a thousand pictures, pictures of every second of our short time, I try anything to escape me, I want you all , all kept safe in my heart, I want to retain the feel and your skin, your skin is delicious, soft scent of you, every part of your package, all you want without end, but I escaped the silences, the silences are erased, and I also I want, but that's what I want to save, the vacuum expectation of crossing fingers gliding, the vacuum kiss, that filled your breath fresh with my neck, my ears, multiplicandote into a thousand parts to me.
But I am calm, I want more, I want you all to hold you until you cramp my arms, kiss your skin to dry out my mouth, sticking my lips to your navel, to feel your heart, to feel your whole body like a blanket that rises to cover it completely, without doubt
Mirame,
look at me without shame, without fear
clearly look at me yourself,
look at me in silence, words do not make mistakes, look at me
much to convince
out chips chips your brain
let the blood flood all
to come to boil me
and your chest is as hot as mine,
at this time ... so long ago, yesterday, tomorrow,
every night .... now "


in that state I was, loko, lost, so the thirsty of the, waiting for a certain future
, who wanted to be uncertain ...
would be several weeks before Easter arrived and would not travel to their city would stay in Santiago, and guess who I call to get together.

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Fever Unleashed 23:00 hrs., The phone rings, it was Andre - "I'm in stgo, comes a day before, I can stay at your house?" - "As clear and went to taxi vente" . In 20 minutes Andre was at home, even the summer heat warmed the night of March and the embrace of something warm greeting Andre but my heart went into my bedroom, not to bother my fellow home, alone in my room we talked about the summer and a thousand eggs without importance, my attention was in her eyes, her lips, her body, mesmerized by his whole being, and my friend, without catching anything. "I have no desire to go out, give me hay, I'm tired, I brought a few whistles for pa winery to Let 's smoke, buy something and we were here talking," he said, that was his picture for our first night together, I continued to show off too tired replied, "Yes, good idea, I'm a little raja" (obvious) and k we bought a wine rich and some cheeses, while I was doing some whistles sitting up in bed with shorts and shirt during the day Sunday, sitting Andre the computer, turns and tells me "I'm hot show, I can wear more comfortable, totally not going to leave and we will be here in your bedroom", I said clearly, and in front of me took off his shirt, leaving a bare torso, and then his jeans also I am alone with boxers, and he says "and so I'm posh, with open mouth I knew nothing, to myself I was happy that my friend felt the confidence to walk almost naked in my presence, but then thought that is not normal for a heterosexual is so relaxed in front of a gay show, and then I told myself that maybe I was wrong, and hueveo andre wants me, but my good angel lie to me and thought that if so and we long ago done something, and k as we talked, smoked and drank, a thousand ideas were around my head, to myself I could not believe my new friend almost naked, sitting on my bed, relaxed died of laughter, speaking many things, and almost ball ,
I was trying not to notice me so hot, and tying my eyes to sanity, trying not to look at both their talents, it was really very difficult.
Almost 4 in the morning andre and relaxation amid the intoxication of wine and marijuana, she began to talk about sex, the mines that had eaten in a very heterogeneous and didactic style, told me how he liked to fuck , the last mine was shot (it was not his girlfriend), and their adventures with colleagues at the university, then I realized that the Lokito, was sick of hot, and obviously, all I wanted to eat mine, and he left all the time.
The conversation was to think of a quasi-seduction of her hand, but then thought, "na to do, andre is my friend, and he likes mine creek, it's okay with me", and that was the only thing I thought was k mining and fuck them all, after all it seems that heteros always have these conversations, and I for him, a friend was not gay, but it was only his friend, and had a conversation like you would any other, that was my consolation to spend no rolls.
"we could see some movies, "he said, and added -" I borrowed some porn, you like? "-, Plop, there is me, where we could bear to see a porn together, friends always do, in the straight is common , but I just wanted to eat it whole, and obvious that the only movie for me would be, try to find any sign of erection, to give me an indication of your erect penis at least to dream.
So No more we lay in bed, each with a cigar, andre shirtless only in boxers and nothing else, me with a rather small short without underwear or nothing down, and a shirt, then I also take away from "heat ".
quench light, begins the film, Andre did not speak, and it was a little difficult for me to see your package because the TV was just in the opposite direction on, and k would have been very clear strategy towards watching TV on your hips where it was "I want to be change of place grows out of the window," he said, that was the move that allowed me to look in the same sense of its bulk, from the street a little light outlining its member gradually felt more bulky, it was clear it was hot, and the very dude, every now and then he settled their parts, but everything was very strange, pork at no time had any sign of rubbing or intimation of the havia me, nothing no signal, no touch, no of nothing but the contemplation of your package, and his cock rubbing the edge of the boxer, almost ready to run my mouth (according to me), Andre broke his silence and said "well this good this movie, you know as know whether porn is good?, - "no, NMO is," he replied, "Because you warm to the touch, and you end up with half Altira tula (EXACT words" listen to talk that way, I warmed pucha k, I just asnetia your comments and feed the idea that the movie was good and we got very caleinte, so k qtrevi me with a question that could shed light on what the fuck was going on, ask "And you're hot with the movie, you unemployment? "(all very relaajjdo and Wave amigops"), to which the repondiò • if I am more kaliente weon, I have hard, look, is lowered a little boxer and shows me his dick, I could list details of the cock andre, 30 seconds of seeing imganes capture all the potential in my head, not never forget that rich trophy k had in his hands, finally saw it, how many nights I masturbate thinking about, and how serious its member hueon pucha the rich, perfect erstaba, rich body, proporaconado total, and was on my side almost naked, aroused, and the dick to bust how hard it looked ......